Annoying Songs to Play in Bars, Vol. 3

Band: Battles
Album: Mirrored
Song: "Atlas"
Length: 7:07


In my later college years and beyond, I gravitated away from what can kindly be called radio rock and into the wonders of the indie rock scene. This is not to say that I don't enjoy the more "commercial" acts; it's just that I have broadened the sounds I seek out on the musical landscape. That being said, I wouldn't have sought out Battles in a million years.

This is where my co-worker comes in.

He and another guy were talking about this band, and described seeing Battles live as "amazing" -- there's that fucking word again -- and how he wanted to hear their new album. The other guy just happened to have it and would make him a copy the next day.

My co-worker got the copy and immediately put it in his CD player.

My first thought upon hearing the vocals was "Wow, I didn't know the Oompa-Loompas started a band."

So it went and I had forgotten about Battles for the most part, except that whenever "Atlas" came on I'd catch myself bopping my head in time to the beat. There was something catchy about this decidedly experimental band. What the hell?

Pitchfork Media describes the album thusly: "Mirrored is a breathtaking aesthetic left-turn that sounds less like rock circa 2007 than rock circa 2097." They also go on to describe it as "robot-rock" and I couldn't agree with those two statements more. The closest comparison I can come up with is Nine Inch Nails. Both bands' music -- Battles more so than NIN -- have a sterile, clincal, almost soulless quality to them. The guitars and drums are so damn perfect and calculates that, in my humble opnion, denies the music the ability to breathe.

"Atlas" is easily the catchiest song on the album, thus fulfulling my requirement that I actually like the song. It does indeed have a groove to it that makes you want to bob your head and tap your feet. Whether or not the bar wants to hear seven minutes of that is another matter altogether.

I have devised a ratings system just for fun, and mostly because I thought it incredibly funny to use "Lars Ulrichs" as my rating instead of stars or numbers.

Ratings go from 1-5, least to most.

Obscurity: 5
Unless you are musically adventurous, you've never heard of Battles.

Length: 4
Much like the live version of "Seek and Destroy," "Atlas" goes on far too long. The single version of it is far more accessible, but it's doubtful that it would be on a jukebox.

Tuneoutability: 5
If no one in the bar goes "What the fuck is this?" you're in the wrong place to try and annoy people with music. Aside from that, the riff is pretty catchy, so that also makes it hard for people to just tune it out. The icing on the cake, of course, is the Oompah-Loompa vocals.

Overall:








Ultimately, "Atlas" gets knocked down one Ulrich because the distinct possibility exists that it will get skipped on a digital jukebox. Some bartenders are just douchebags like that. However, if you're sick of Soulja Boy and Flo Rida and in a place where they let the music play no matter what the genre is, "Atlas" is a prime choice for annoying, yet unmistakeably catchy, song.