Wrestling, the Internet, and You

A couple of weekends ago, I watched WWE’s Survivor Series pay-per-view on an awful Internet stream provided by the son of a bitch who got me into wrestling in the first place. It was the first time I had paid attention to a wrestling show since the death of Chris Benoit. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t something that immediately made me want to catch up on all that I missed either. But that’s not what this is about.

In the middle of the show, an Undertaker-esque video came on the Titantron, asking us if we had “broken the code.” Being completely in the dark on the latest wrestling dope, I asked my friend what it meant. He replied, “Jericho’s coming back.” I thought, oh, that’s pretty cool. He came back with “Yeah, the bastards on the Internet spoiled the whole thing.” And a debate began between us about whether or not the Internet had, in fact, ruined wrestling.

In theory I agree with him. In fact, back when I attempted a wrestling column, I toyed with the idea of titling my first piece “The Internet has Ruined Wrestling.” I never did it because of both the irony (which is actually kind of funny) and because I would’ve been flamed right off the message bored. Most columnists preach to the choir. I was coming straight out and insulting them.

The argument itself ended in a stalemate, which is a rare occurrence. My side of the story is what follows.

SPOILING THE FUN

My friend contended that part of the reason that wrestling is ruined in this new age is because of spoilers. After all, isn’t the magic of wrestling in the surprises? Isn’t that what a lot of the IWC wants from the WWE – unpredictability? Yet here they are spewing forth every nugget of information – rumor or not – because that’s quite frankly why a wrestling news site exists to begin with. Hell, people have been clamoring for Chris Jericho to come back since he left the show what seems like years ago. But there it was for everyone to see if you went to any site but WWE.com: JERICHO TO RETURN!

Back when I watched WWE on a regular basis, I visited the dirt sheets on a daily basis. When I tuned in to watch the show, it was quite hard to turn my mind off to the point where I didn’t think about who was getting the latest push or who was going to make a “surprise” appearance. Granted, I’m a wrestling idiot and could still be surprised by many things. But watching it with inside information and watching those first few precious shows when I was a newcomer were two completely different experiences.

The thing that’s wrong with what I just wrote is that no one is forcing anyone to go to a wrestling web site. If you do go, and you do spoil the fun for yourself, you get what you deserve. And even with that said, last time I checked anything that was a spoiler was clearly marked as such. So if Jericho’s return was spoiled for my friend, it was more than likely his own fault.
My friend argued that maybe they just shouldn’t do spoilers then. I countered that that wasn’t going to happen. If that were the case, wrestling sites would just be regurgitating kayfabe news from WWE.com, and that would clearly be no fun. The truth of the matter is that it’s not going away. Everyone knows that the Internet exists for two sole reasons: the free flow of information and pornography. IWC sites would simply not exist if not for their inside news.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF INSIDE INFORMATION

One thing that my friend and I agree on is that wrestling thrives on the unpredictable. Yes, it’s great that professional wresting features massively talented athletes. It’s also great that the female wrestlers and managers are incredibly hot. But all of that is not enough to keep coming back to watch week after week. It’s the fact that anything can happen at any moment that kept us captivated as kids (or, in my case, my mid-twenties).

But as we all know, that is not the case today. Despite the fact that people want unpredictability from their play-fighting, those same people are the ones that flock to wrestling sites – filled with inside information, spoilers, and general negativity – to bitch about the lack of surprises in wrestling. It boggles my mind.

I thought about this for a while – why in God’s name would someone do this to themselves? – and could only come up with one reason. Inside wrestling information, like any other inside info, is as addicting as a narcotic. I was guilty of it at one time as well. There’s nothing like watching a wrestling show and knowing that a certain performer is in the midst of a push and therefore he will win his match. The high of knowing that a certain wrestler is coming back while watching with some buddies – and being the only one who knows this – is unbelievable.

I think I may know why this feeling is so great. I would imagine that a large amount of people that read wrestling news have been watching wrestling for a long time. They’ve seen it all. There really is nothing left for them to be captivated by. So they turn to wrestling news at the very least to have an upper hand and those not in the know. It’s a smug superiority that’s nice to have. (And one that reaches far beyond the reaches of professional wrestling. See: Atheists, far-left-leaning liberals, tech geeks, etc.)

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO SAVE YOURSELF?

Perhaps you’re the type of person that likes having the information yet still enjoys wrestling week in and week out. That’s great. To say that you’re any less or any more of a wrestling fan is absurd. But if you’re like my good friend here that is becoming disillusioned with the Internet wrestling scene, there is a solution.

Stop it.

Just stop going to wrestling sites. It’s that simple. The wrestling sites and their inside information will never go away because there is an obvious market for it. The fact that you can read about stuff no is supposed to know and then discuss it ad nasueum is something that’s very appealing to people. But no one’s putting a gun to your head forcing you to read it, so make the choice for yourself. I have a feeling that wrestling will become 100 percent more enjoyable for you. You can still get information about what wrestlers were being released or who are coming up from the developmental territories on WWE.com. You can still discuss wrestling on forums, though you’ll have to be wary of people trying to spoil the fun. And sure, there will always be things in wrestling that you just know are coming, like when Ric Flair goes to the top rope. As far as I’m concerned those things are also part of the fun.

At the end of the day only you can make wrestling an enjoyable experience.

(Now, if WWE chooses to pit Great Khali against Hornswaggle for all eternity that’s a different story, but you see what I mean, right?)

A (Slightly) Scathing Review of SD vs. Raw 2008 and an Indictment of the Nintendo Wii

Wrestling as television watching may have passed me by. I stopped watching in June of this year after the Chris Benoit murder-suicide incident and I can't really even express why. All I know is that, though I know that the show must go on no matter what, it just didn't feel right this time. I haven't missed it a whole lot since.

However, I own the last three installments of the Smackdown vs. Raw series and enjoyed all of them. Despite the fact I haven't kept up with the latest storylines doesn't mean I still can't enjoy the video game, right?

I could've just went the easy route and rented it for the PS2 and all would have been well, I'm sure. But I bought a Nintendo Wii and I wanted to see what it would be like on a console that wasn't made with the hardcore gamer in mind. About 10 minutes later, I was severely disappointed.

Having read a professional review, I knew that it was not only going to be completely different (duh), but that it was obviously a game taking its first baby steps on a new and innovative gaming system. This, I found out after two matches, was the understatement of the year.

My first complaint is that there was no tutorial mode in the game. For most consoles, this is not a problem. Either you've been playing the game for such a long time that you know most of the controls like the back of your own hand or you can pick them up easily by reading the manual. This is not the case with the Wii. Reading is not the same as doing it on the screen. Every other game I've played so far has some kind of directions on screen so that you can get a feel for what you're doing. Oh no, not on Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. That would only make sense.

(Full disclosure: When I first put the game in, I didn't see that Blockbuster had so graciously included a manual. Feel free to call me a dumbass now.)

So without any preparation, I ended up flailing around like a dumbass trying in vain to execute something other then a punch or kick. I was ready to not play the game anymore. But I am a stubborn bastard, so I played on after reading the manual for some tips. This did not improve things.

The review I read said that the game lacks depth, and it definitely does. There are only five types of matches, and all but one (hardcore) are your standard fare. In this day and age, that is inexcuseable... though I won't hold it too hard against the developers because it is the first time out on a new console.

So, what about the actual gameplay? That's not all that great either. The game lacks fluidity, and that has as much to do with the lame motion control as anything else. Essentially it's a button-masher without the buttons. Instead of body damage, there is a single health bar. Once that bar runs down, you can either pin the opponent or try to make him submit. Most of the time it's a win for you. This may be fine for little kids, but for older fans of the game it's fucking lame and goes against everything you've ever known about wrestling.

To add to that shortcoming, finishers don't work the same here either. Instead of having to execute enough moves to have the ability to hit a finisher, you instead simply need to beat your opponent enough. That may sound like the same thing, but it's really not. It seemed like at any point in the match the "Hit A+B for finsiher" sign came on, and then the match was all but over.

The graphics are passable, but nothing to write home about. (Nothing more to add, just thought I should note it.)

Finally, there's the "season" mode, known as "Main Event" on the Wii. It's not like the season mode on other consoles, in that there's no storylines to speak of and you pretty much do everything on your own. This lack of structure is both good and bad. On the one hand, what the hell good is wrestling without the storylines? Not much, obviously. But there is some good to be had in this mode. You can make your own matches, ask for title shots, and train to increase attributes.

You work your way up through the ranks by winning matches. This can be satisfying and repetitive, because at first you can only have matches with a few wrestlers. I may fucking hate Gene Snitsky, but I can only beat him so many times before I get sick of him. I've admittedly only played for a couple of days, but I can safely say that this mode shows promise if it can be combined with the season mode available on other platforms.

Overall, I can kind of agree with the review's assessment that this game was a good first step. It definitely shows promise, but a lot of areas are in dire need of improvement. The controls suck. The lack of matches is completely lame. The gameplay in the ring lacks depth. In short, I sure as hell wouldn't buy this game, at least not for the Wii.

****

So, does my opinion of Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 mean that the Wii is a failure of a console? Maybe to Xbox and PlayStation fanboys it does, and they have valid reasons for trashing the Wii. However, I think each console serves its own purpose. In the case of the Wii, that purpose is fun, simple games that anyone and their grandmother can play.

The problem with SD vs Raw 2008 (and Madden, and NBA Live) is that motion controls, for the most part, aren't at all intuitive. Sure, throwing a pass or attempting a powerbomb seems like it should work. Sometimes it does. Most of the time, however, it fails miserably.

I understand that the Wii is a hot commodity right now, and every game developer under the sun wants a piece of the action. That's fine. What's not fine is that they think that they should incorporate motion controls into every facet of the game, even when it doesn't work. A good motto is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I believe in that in the case of the Wii. It's all right if not every action on the screen is determined by my waving of the remote. Please, for the love of God, STOP IT!

Barring the actual improvement of controls (and I have my doubts) perhaps they should just quit it with the unintuitive sports games. Bowling, golf, and baseball work fine on the Wii, but those aren't exactly action-packed. That may seem like it doesn't leave a whole lot in the way of good games on the Wii, but I beg to differ.

Wii has never been about graphical prowess -- if you want that, go for PS3 or XBox 360 -- but about games that you can pick up and play, especially with a group of people. Anyone who knows my gaming habits knows that I prefer to play alone. But the Wii is a different animal. I'm always up for a game of Wii Sports Bowling or The Bigs, and even though most of the mini-game fests that are en vogue right now are lame, I'll usually try my hand at those as well. Fun can be had for the casual gamer like myself on Wii, and that's where the console shines.

Wii certainly has its faults -- it's infancy as a console has as much to do with it as the dumbass programmers who think everything needs to be motion controlled -- but it also has its merits. Because of that, I'm not ready to give up on my $250 investment just yet.