Annoying Songs to Play at Bars: Vol. 2

Band: The Beach Boys
Album: Pet Sounds
Song: "God Only Knows"
Length: 2:53

How is it that one of the most brilliant pop songs of all time can be so annoying when played in a bar?

Well, you could start with my description of "God Only Knows" as a "brilliant pop song." You see, not many people want to hear that type of music. True, it is "pop," and when you're at a tavern with all types of people, popular music is the order of the day. Some people want to listen to Nickelback -- which is their version of rocking out -- and others still insist on dancing to the latest rap single. Especially with young people, new music is of the highest importance.

"God Only Knows" is none of those things, therefore it falls in no man's land.

I can vouch for this song because I played during a run of nearly all annoying songs at a bar I occasionally visit, and the Beach Boys pushed the female bartender over the edge.

"It isn't Christmas! I hear jingle bells!" she said.

"Yeah, I guess there are in the background, but this is a really damn good song." I replied.

She was having none of it, and proceeded to skip the song altogether. Had I not been in Cudahy -- a venerable cesspool of musical taste if ever there was one -- I might have tried to debate the finer points of the track with her, but I knew in the end it would be fruitless.

I have devised a ratings system just for fun, and mostly because I thought it incredibly funny to use "Lars Ulrichs" as my rating instead of stars or numbers.

Ratings go from 1-5, least to most.

Obscurity: 3.5
Everyone knows who the Beach Boys are, (right?) but I'd wager that the average person is far more familiar with songs like "California Girls," "Fun Fun Fun," or, God forbid, "Kokomo." Brilliant as the song is, it's probably a hidden gem as far as most people are concerned.

Length: 1
Clocking in at 3 minutes isn't going to get the job done if you've only got one song to play.

Tuneoutability: 1.5
It's gentle and mellow, but perhaps the vocals are distinct enough to be noticed by someone.

Overall:






It's kind of sad to admit that the easiest path to annoyance is to pick a song that's fast and heavy. "God Only Knows" fails on all counts, yet if you're in a smaller place where you can actually hear the music, it is a great choice to take the piss out of the crowd.